Pray for hope, he will give it to you

There is a greater force at work that is fighting for you even when you feel like your situation is   hopeless.

There are very few times that I have lost hope in this life, but recently I have been struggling with a less than perfect situation. I  compare it to the thorn the apostle Paul had in his side, whether it was spiritual or physical, either way it’s painful and without resolution.

I felt like I was trying to knock down a brick wall with nothing but a small hammer and my own two feet. Imagine doing that for days that turn into weeks, confident that at some moment with enough force and pressure of my own it was going to crack.

Well after months on end of beating this wall my confidence plummeted. Thinking, “what if it never budges… ever?” Soon I found myself calling for an S.O.S that I was certain would never come. Finding myself floating on a raft that was losing air.

This thing, this brick wall, this mountain (not climbable I might add, unless I turn into Spiderman)  no matter what I said, how I felt, or what I did was going to move, crack or budge that wall.  Nothing  in my human form was going to make that wall fall.

I put down my tool after moments of pure exhaustion,  crying,  and screaming. I sat, and did not pray right away. I did pray eventually however; surrendering this ridiculousness over to a God that I know is not dead. A God that has continually shown up for me  time after time again.

Surely without fail, and what seemed like years, a small crack emerged. I mean small, too small for me to be able to use my tool.  Big enough for me to see the light on the other side.

The thing about that small crack of light is that it may not get any bigger for awhile. In fact, it might stay just like that for another year or two but at some point its going to get bigger, and with it an answer, perhaps a resolution.

Pray for hope, he will give it to you, he knows without it we are completely lost.

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